in short, another reason why im not very opened, thinking too much again.

scoring high, was 'charismatic' 49/60.

meaning, a personality that is outgoing and enthusiastic.

LOVE to be arnd ppl, motivate others, communicate and persuade others~

but of course this is survey baised..

i doubt and question myself now.

because, i AM a 'considerate' personality WANTING TO BE a CHARISMATIC personality, however AM NOT one of them.

i DO LOVE being arnd ppl, but somehow i cant communicate with them, as i said i think too much, i weigh out the pros and cons so much, so afraid to make the slightest mistakes.

the flaws i wld make, afraid ppl wld judge negatively abt me!

just reading a paragraph of an article to my fellow classmates makes me nervous alr..

my voice wld break, my hands wld tremble, my face wld blush red hot. [if you all had alr noticed].

in short, im paranoid and i lack the confidence~

and thats what ive been trying to work at for the past year. @_@

haiz.. i feel down, left out, empty within with this lack of enthusiasm, vivaciousness? i wanna be normal at least, the sociable-ness...

i wanna STOP thinking so much, and think simpler, complicated thoughts never fail to fill my mind~

when will i ever change?~