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Kirbie~ memee..
Name : Geraint.aka.kirbie
Age : 16!! =P
Gender : male
Birthday : 23 May 1993
Email add : bonlesschickeshit@hotmail.com
Sec school : k.c.p.s.s
Pri school : k.c.p.p.s
plays the drums.
PASSIONATE abt arts n sports.
Memee Hates
Detest :
1.irritating ppl (like me)
2.nerds
3.bengs&lians
4.construction works under my block
5.stupid smelly HAZE
6.NEVER ENDING holidays
7.shooting!?!?
Memee Likes
Likes :
Fave ppl: 1.family(-_-")
2.friends
3.ALL my loved ones~ (:
4.Linkinpark!!!
2peace07
3truth08
alicia
amirah
brandon
bryan
carpark
char
cheryl
cherylno.2
chrystal
chin
clarissa
lijing
daniel
darren
desiree
elaine
eqa
gab
galen
gladys
glenda
greyy
huaiying
janenie
jeremy
jezrika
jianrong
joey
joyce
junhao
leekuang
louis
kishen
kristy
manda
meHh
mich
no-kia
nurul
phoebe
prawncracker
roy
ridz
sandy
shauna
shermaine
shuying
skye
sis
suanziee
viv
wee~
weiying
wilson
xuewen
ziying
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what is friendship?
a friend is someone who stands by you, even during bad times.
a friend cheers you up when you're down.
a friend is someone who listens to you,
who lends you their ears, and shoulder and their helping hand.
a friend cherishes you.
a true friend dosent take you for granted
a true friend appreciates the stuff you do for him.
a true friend loves you like his own brother.
i SCREAMED.
i SHOUTED.
they laughed, but i didnt mind..
but i felt so free.
it felt so good.
like the heavy rock tt was achoring my heart shattered and spilled out from my heart.
i sat on the road,
i crashed my bottle onto the wall.
the anger, the jealousy, the hate.
i was upset, furious, going insane.
it felt so good living in denial, hiding from reality.
but whenever i accidentally face the truth. the pain still stayed. the pain wasnt going anywhere.
i thought i cld replace you with joey tt day.
becos i was still missing you.
becos tt moment reminded me of you.
of us during our final days.
the msges i saw. today.
'yeah just like you said he's a lil kid'
..
[sometimes i wish i return to being one..
theres beauty in simplicity.]
felt like crushing the phone.
i even considered leaving the band.
so tt i wont get to see ur face.
so tt those mmrs wld dissapear.
so tt i wld be living in denial. forever.
it was hard to understand..
as you finally told me your reason 1 month after the break up.
it was.. too late?
the hate, the suspicion, the jealousy accumlated so much tt i brushed ur side of the story off.
your reason tt ive been longing. this was exactly why it made me feel like this. the hate.
but ive got what i longed for.
so i dont know what am i hating for.
i dont know what have you done for me to hate you.
wanna let you know that iv avoiding you not only because of the pain i feel everytime i see ur face.
but also because i donwanna hate you.
i never had the intention to hate you.
i hate myself for hating you.
but ever since i walked this pavement of hatred and denial and its been very tough.
though ive made alot more new friends, for help and support,
it was more abt settling the problem yourself.
you decide what you do.
and ive decided to end this journey.
i had enough.
i read your msg.
but i cldnt bring myself to reply it?
i too wanted to spill it all out. =l
but now. i finally understand.
i failed to put myself into your shoes.
i have a better blessed family.
i'll forgive. i'll let go.
i'll try to forget.
but i dont know if i'll let myself be your friend again.
_______________________________________________________
hurt.
anger.
jealousy.
HATE.
shout.
SCREAM.
~~
relax.
stay calm.
remain cool~
let go.
love.
this is life.
its meant to be.
ppl are facing alot TOUGHER obstacles.
so why am i posting still kindoff stuff again?
just venting anger~ ~_~
the brick walls there for a reason.
to seperate those whos determined enough and those who only say they can.
you cant change the cards that you've been dealt, only how you play it.
life is never a bed of roses.
_______________________________________________________
x_x
eep!
mum found out abt th 1/30 math mark.. [was in Emo BD..] = =
while flipping through my mess on the table yesterday!
and she snapped..
Zz..
she asked me why.. cldnt tell her.. z
haiz..
nagged ALOT cos i had math tuition alr.. lols..
long story short..
if i fail math for common test i cldnt take drum lessons anymore! z
she also threatened to thow away all my drum sticks! all 13 of them.. Zz
but theres still a lil glimpse of hope though!
little did she know tt i was working super hard after failing tt test.. lols.. x.x
3hrs a day on weekdays 5hrs weekends.. and 2hrs every 2days on math..
theres abt 60% tt im gona pass for this common test paper..
ive been doing pass year papers and ive been passing them 55 over% =D
oh and i can only use the com for half an hr.. o.o for the week.. so wont be blogging much!
_______________________________________________________
o_o
i was in the middle of my skatingness in bishanpark in the late afternoon today~
was skating backwards.. o.o
passed a 20+ year old guy, resting on his bike and drinking on his bottle..
hmm.. he SEEMED normal.. everything LOOKED normal..
but it wasnt!
as i U-turned and skated to the other lane,
suddenly saw tht guy again! o.o
and guess wad was he doing!??!?!
= = no he didnt fell off his bike..
he was flaring and waving his arms and riding his bike at the same time!
no i wasnt concern abt the safty of the road users...
i was concern abt his mental health.. o.o"
i decided to tail after him!
i noticed ear pieces in his ears..
he was like.. doing some hardcore dance moves on his bike..
and mouthing the lyrics too!
everybody he went passed in the crowded park looked, stared, smiled then laughed..
cos he looked damn retarded.. SUPER RETARDED..
i sooo wanted to video him.. haha.. but i was afraid he suddenly stopped..
oh! and i noticed that he had only afew moves.. = =
he just kept repeating it over and over again.. lols!
_______________________________________________________
ever since i had a tutor~
i ALWAYS thought..
why cant one to one tutors be the real subject teachers teaching us instead?
they explain themselves, the problem, the questions, the solutions SO MUCH clearer than the original sub teachers!
them seem more approachable to ask questions too..
until 2days ago!
ive finally found the ans!
went to mr haw's math remedia after school..
btws.. i was one of the 5 of the 41 who eventually bothered or who were free to appear.. = =
anws
maybe its just becos its ONE TO ONE? ~_~
the teacher dosent have to shut the class up,
no distractions,
but total silence, full concentration on wad ure doing and only the voices in your head!
oh! and today!!
watched lunch time concert! @_@
hahas.. damn funny lurh.. omg.
sec ones perfrom their dance routines!
hahahah
some massive screwups..
jason and chunwai also performed their wacky JumpStyle
marcus perfromed his specialty!
andand
i found tt joey isnt all tt smart too! =D
hehe..
went to j8 with franciscus, bryan, joey after school..
ate a lil, chatted, met kristy too!
suddenly joey felt like studying!
it was still pretty early..
franics and kristy left while
we decided to head to the library! (:
talked, giggled,
finally decided to get down to work.. = =
joey didnt know how to do a whole chapter of functiongraphs.. = =
bryan wanted to help.. but forgotten..
.. so it was ME to the rescue! =D
a combined sci taking 7subjects INCLUDING ART n an f9 in math.. teaching joey!
lols.. was kinda familer of tt topic..
= = cos mr haw just went through i just practiced the day before. lols.. z
anws..
had lots of fun teaching her though.. lols?
my very first student! =D
heeh.. cant admit tt i didnt copy my student work when i did qestions with her though.. =x
hmm..
actually.. its not that i dont know how to do lorh..
its tt.. 80% of my mistakes were made by carelessness..
and joey and bryan's my witness.. = ="
just wanna pass my math during this CA2! jyjy! =D
jy joey!
_______________________________________________________
o.o"
enjoy! =D
_______________________________________________________
whee~
mum told me dad had sent her a msg!
and said tt he reached the airport alr.. :D
oh yar..
i havent told you how we spent our last day!
it was sunday~
we watched Batman!
it was a really good show~
stories abit complicated though @_@
after that,
ate at SoupSpoon!
our last meal before he eventually goes to work for the nxt 3mths..
its been 2days..
but i dnt really missed him.. becos saw him again.. = =
dont need to tell! i can read ur mind!
how can i see him when hes not even here?
well~ i saw him on a screen! =D
abt.. 30mins ago.. o.o
anws..
stayed back for 2hrs of art today!
art students had to stay back for 4hrs this week. =l
its for us to finish our work on time..
hmm.. but joan and me also used this as an excuse to escape training too! :D
we were supposed to do our research on 'Flight'
look up for pictures and draw them!
and heres wad i drew!
a dragon.. sketched~ darkening the lines and shading.. =l
final product! =D
traced~
but after darkening the lines and shading, it looks better than the original pic! =P -Fallen Angel-
Unicorn~
another fallen angel..
traced the outline..[to get the wings in proportioned] but most of the pictures freehanded..
enjoy the drawings!
*goes to find more pictures~
_______________________________________________________
yay!
its Racial Harmony Day~
its the day when racist jokes arent funny and were not suppose to be told!
anws
ppl wearing their ethnic costumes were filling the hall~ o.o"
but most didnt had/wore theirs..
which made mr koh's deal 'if 80% of the school wears their ethnic costumes Mrs TBS and me will perform something special for you nxt monday!' last friday, off!
hmm..
nothing much special, exciting or interesting though..
just like an ordinary sch day~
only that there were LOTS of SHORT performances during mrning assembly..
= =" all pretty lame and stupid..
nothing compared to pri sch's concert! =l
indians like Ragu, preethita, saravanah, iskanda, err.. more weird names..
showcased their indianness~
with dances and stick spinning kungfu tricks.. = =
brandon.. represented the chi race with a 30second song.. ~_~
hmm.. it was abt 2pm..
then i suddenly recalled..
'dad shld in the airport with mum by now!'
was wondering what were they doing then.. x.x
oh.. he hugged me and said encouraging, mushy stuffs before i came to school..
hahas~
hmm..
mum's missing him now.. lols..
anws..
hope he arrives there safely! (:
_______________________________________________________
family and i made our way to Mt Vernon today~
rows and collumns of concrete shelves where all the deceased ashes were kept, and stored in a urn behind a slab..
on the slabs, they had their names, different birthdays and the day when they passed away printed out..
our family arrived to Mt Vernon first!
dad[oldest son, uncle didnt arrive..], decided to start carving out our grandpa's slab and replace it with grandma's and grandpa's new slab after grandma's urn was in place while we waited for our cousins and dad's sister!
o.o
the slab was was SLOWLY carved out, then carefully cemented in again by an indian man from Singapore's Casket..
and im emphasising on the word 'SLOWLY'..
the whole process took abt 20mins..
it wasnt even completed when the rest arrived..
we made offerings to our grandparents with pork meat, a muffin, a giant pow, popo's favourite tea, vinegar, chickenrice, pears, orangesand apples! after the guy was done.. (:
crows and common birds were seen flying arnd, or hiding in the trees.. O.<
we then prayed and burnt lots of paper money!
hope my grandparents wld receive those money! (:
there were lots of it!
[GAHHHHH A WHOLE CHUNK OF WORDS ARE MISSING! I HATE BLOGGER SOMETIMES!]
i know you're talking abt me..
just wanna let you know tt..
i never blamed anyone..
i never felt tt i was the victim,
i even felt guilt tt everybody's pitying me, but not you..
i tried to put myslf into your shoes..
i tried to understand you..
i tried to show my love, my care and concern in different ways..
i tried my very best..
but you wldnt let me..
you insulted me, you neglected me, you almost destroyed my heart..
you wldnt give me a chance..
you even gave up on yourself..
i had enough..
or maybe tts who you really are..
nobody heard ur side of the story
becos you didnt tell it..
i knew you were busy,
i knew ur hp was confiscated, the internet was taken away
i admit i was affected a lil.. but i got over soon, because i thought you wldnt leave me.. guess i was wrong.. = =
and BY THE WAYS.. it was you whose feelings changed suddenly..
not mine..
and up till now..
i still dont know whyand how this happenend..
then what was i suppose to do?
wasting my time waiting for you, or give you up and move on?
i believed i made the right choice.. the best choice ive made..
i too, longed to hear ur side of the story..
i wldnt have cried pathetically for you every night, i wldnt have failed my tests, i wldnt hve forgotten to do my homewrk, i wldnt have suffered so much, my heart wld have been healed by now, if you had told me your side of the story..
but it seems like i dont even care anymore..
btws..
i bet youve even forgotten the last words i said to you..
'sorry' 'for everything' ?!
anws..
congrats for your.. many stage appearance and stuff.. = =
maybe im not as amazingly smart or hardworking as you..
maybe im not as talented as you..
maybe im not as capable as you..
maybe im not as socialble and talkative as you..
maybe i dont have as many friends as you..
but i know i was given and receiving more than enough love from anyone, everyone i knew than ive ever realised and NEVER TO TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED after i lost you..
im a different person after i met you..
my perspective for love has changed..
and unconditional love is the best love anyone can recieve..
ive learnt to move on..
i dont need you no more..
_______________________________________________________
sry didnt post abt games day!
x,x
was too tired.. slpt at 8.. woke up at 7.30 o_O
anws, it was awesome as always!
but..
too much fun equals too boring?
we formed ourselves into 4 grps of 6.. o.o
abel, joey, renee, bryan, joey and me!
but when we went to the floorgrnd,
we instantly spreaded ourselves.. o.o
the guys ran into the field while the girls hurried to the paradesquare!
we joined our friends, whom were not in shooting, but in the field, playing frisbee..
suddenly, a round object came flying into the field!
bryan kicked the ball in.. o_O
we played both soccer and frisbee!
hmm..
until junhui came.. = =
he forced to play soccer..
3vs 3.. how boring cld that be!? z
he wldnt let us go get a drink or join the girls whom were playing volleyball.. and NOT soccer!
anws..
junhui invited his sec2 frens..
while sharil and iskanda joined in too!
now theres more motivation! (:
played for abt.. 30 mins under the dreadfully hot sun!
we all were hot and exhausted!
junhui finall let us rest.. = ="
and you know what?
i thnk the water cooler is the best invention yet!
rest our aching legs.. by playing volleyball with the girls! x.x
massive fun! lols..
z.. after abt.. 10mins,
junhui dragged us to get back into the field.. = =
no hes not dying to play soccer..
hes the organiser..
and hes trying a lil too hard..
he wants everything to be sticked to his plan..
played for a lil while,
before going against his 'rules'.. = =
we decided to visit the girls again whom were now in the basketball court..
cos soccer was just too damn boring alr..
btws, the paradesquare was almost 80% filled by uniform grps!
marching and stuffs..
and the volleyball kept hitting them!
enjoyed our game of frisbee..
and volleyball..
but got bored soon afterwards.. x.x"
i thn visited my other guy friends! =D
it was abt 4.30 alr.. and they still havent gone home yet!
were still playing frisbee.. in the field!
but they started to go home
not long after i got in to play with them.. = =
anws
this kinda pretty much wrapped up my games day..
no BBQ no stay up till 7..
no burnt chicken, no tasty cooked mushmellows!
z.. it was still super fun though..
i mean compared to regular shooting paper cards = =
after tt..
lj, joey, bryan and me
decided to walk to j8 o.o
met up with yiling..
suddenly we stumbled on a school shirt, it was whitely, peirre or raffles's o.o lying across the floor!
joey suggested we shld tear it.. o.o?!
and we did.. lols..
we looked like retarded hynenas
trying to pull off meat from a buffalo carcass while smiling and laughing!
ppl walked past us.. but we didnt cared!
met xiaocats[her names glenda right? o.o] and meixu
they helped and we managed to tear it into smaller pieces before leaving and towards our destination! (:
yiling meixu and glenda left along the way..
joey bryan lj and me went to macs..
not to eat, but to rest our aching muscles!
talked and ate icecream! (:
went home after tt.. x.x
layed on my bed after taking dinner.. and i fell aslp..
wanted to wake up at 9!
i did!
but mum said i cld slp till tmr morning.. lols..
my back's aching, my feet's aching even my arms aching!
but
nothing beats the pain clumped in my heart.
my heart was dreadfull burnt again yesterday.. bfore games day,
i so wish i cld avoid meeting her again and again,
esp her voice, and her face..
but she went up on stage during chapel..
she even sang..
3 girls were singing..
but i still cld define her voice from the rest..
and it hurts.. =l so bad..
i know if i put myself in dad's shoes
im thnking childishly.. again..
but.. =l
haiz..
the hurt.. x.x
i even tried to subsitute her as joey.. =l
yesterday..
when joey and i walked the same route home,
we were good frens but we didnt talk much..
i waited with her for her bus..
it reminded me so much abt the last few days i spent with her.. =l
eventually, her bus came..
i told joey to wait for another one like i wld always tell her when i waited with her for her train
but she waved and said goodbye..
she turned back, still waving.. (:
and smiled~
i dowana hurt her..
i want her to put herself in my shoes.. =l
i wanna forget her.. forget the pain..
but
when will this ever end..
but im very sure.. i'll nv cry for her again..
_______________________________________________________
im NOT emo nor am i emoing.. nor i am i starting to dress, talk, or behave like one.. (:
zz
tt post was just another horrible moodswing! x.x
anws..
you see me kinda non-chalant but still retarded in class..
which is normal..
dosent mean tt im taking you all for granted!
deep down in my heart, im really grateful for where i am now, for who i am with! =D
i may have lost her..
but i still have my friends..
you can say i either have no best friends..
or have lots of best friends!=D
hmm..
just wanna name&thank some ppl whom i love! =D
and whom i know they love me too.. =x v^^v
lets see whom i can thnk of right at this moment!
BRYAN!!!
yay..
hes my look a like twin.. [kinda~] a lil~ lols..
anws..
hes a soccer maniac..
he reads, he breathes, he lives for.. soccer.. o.o"
i like talking abt soccer with him.. lols.. even though i dont realli watch soccer..
hes a really good fren to talk to when you have problems.. (:
even though sometimes he dosent really appreciate my retardedness.. ~_~"
hes pretty socialble too.. i admire him sometimes.. ><"
but GRACIA's my super role model.. o.o"
always wanted to be like her.. lols.. x.x"
shes even MORE SOCIALBLE, frendly, caring~ kind.. and very happy too.. o_o
she too dosent really care abt my retardedness..
tts also why shes my role model!
i love to wave to her too.. =D
and..
LIJING!
my first good girl-friend since.. pri 5! lols.. x.x
helps me ALOT in diff ways and in diff situations too!
hmm..
and.. actually..
i thnk shes the one who turns up at most of our class outings! pri and secondary!
ALICIA!
as far as i know..
shes the only one tt hasnt fall in love yet! =D [SUPER motivation for me to prevent myself for falling for another girl!]
she a super x2 good person to talk to when you're facing probs too!
ROY!
o.o hes my partner in 'crime'..
totally removes the troubles away from my heart..
when im with him.. =D
i practice retard skills with him..
KP!
a very good listener! ..
hes fun to make fun of and disturb too..
sometimes i kinda vent my anger on him when im upset.. =l
cute little punch bag.. o.o
but hes an emo-thnk-too-much person..
he loves accompanying ppl too!
whn i want to buy my foodordrinks from the canteen, he wld readily follow! yay~
which is why it makes me very less independent..
andand..
JOYCE!
yay..
shes very very funny!! x.x"
i even thnk shes funnier than roy.. lols.. =D
she makes me smile brighter than the sun!!
i wanna thank everybody! o_o
and apologise those who i have forgotten, and not in the list!
didnt have enough time, braincells.. or you just dont mean THAT much to me as compared to my other best frens.. x.x"
anws..
tmr.. not only is there P.E or ART..
but its also..
GAMES DAY! YESSSS finally!!!!!!!!
mwhahahah
i prepared myself for this day by buying spectacle hooks just now!
my specs kept sliding away from the sweat from my nose.. for the past.. 2years..
and you all know how much i love going out in the sun..
soaking myself wet in sweat! (:
Fun Joy and Laughter! here i come! =DD
_______________________________________________________
right arm and right leg's aching sore! x.x
just came back from frisbeeing..
btws..
its not tt i used my right leg to throw or anything.. just ran too much.. = =
just hope my right arm doesnt grow 2times bigger than the left by the end of this year.. ~_~
anws..
it was super fun still. x.x"
super mad..
i dunno..
i cldnt even bare to delete those msges..
i dowanna throw away the cards..
my heart cracks when i delete the photos from my phone..
everytime i see you talking to my frens.. [the guys]
i feel so... MAD.. VERY MAD.. = ="
i wld just stare at you with tht icy cold glare..
i'll walk away, trying to get most of the guys away from you..
it dosent even feel like we're frens anymore..
it felt so much better without you..
or at least thnking you didnt exist..
i thought the keychain we gave each other wld be.. at least for our frendship..
but you replaced it with some other bunny light CRAP today..
it hurt so bad..
i immediately took out mine.. and threw it in the bag..
im starting to hate you instead..
i wanna forget you..
i wanna throw away everything you gave me..
even the mmrs..
but somethings pulling me back..
i enjoy doing stuff with my frens.. (:
im SICK of ur fake smiles..
im SICK of hearing your voice..
im SICK of seeing your face.
but somehow..
i still cant stop turning my head arnd to look at you.
you know why its so hard to erase this scar across my heart?
becos i myself dont even know what went wrong with my own relationship
and i'll never know the reason why.
_______________________________________________________
yay! hahas.. x.x
we were released earlier than ever today!
1230! cos hmt had their exams..
the guys
were either gona go lan..
or home..= ="
and i never play lan.. [plaed cs once.. killed 2.. got killed 40..]
i wana go home so early too~
so i decided to follow the girls instead! (:
louis followed us to j8, buying a frisbe before leaving me.. =l alone..
with the girls.. z..
but i didn regret following them though! =D
we went to cityhall!
window shopped,
made fun of ppl,
chatted,
ate,
and most imptly! laugh!! =D
and we laughed and smiled alot.. lols..
i thnk it made alicia lose a kg of her chubby cheeks. o.o
took lots of pics too.. (:
and tts exactly why i love hanging out with the girls!
they take LOTS of pictures! =D hahas.
thx for the healings! o_o
of cos..
the guys plaed their part too! =D
SUPER fun..
plaed frisbe during recess and before sch!
louis bought another one today..
chinteck found his! woot!
so we're gona have 3frisbees tmr! just hope it dosent rain.. (:
x.x"
i didnt realise.. commontest was alot closer than i expected!
o.o"
less than 3 weeks away~
but its just the right time to re-start my studying program!
hmm..
what wld i do without frens?
_______________________________________________________
retarded pic we took just now.. =D
lols.. z
saw sis's pic on a blog..
then she imitated it..
so i joined in..
i decided we shld take tgt instead.. ~_~
its the first monday without you..
literally without you..
felt.. so awkward?
anws.. had louis accompanying me.. (:
talked abt lots of stuffs! =D
oh.. who am i kidding.. = ="
im not ok..
not perfectly fine yet.. o_o
im only getting&feeling alot better..(:
heard rumours tts shes flirting with guys~ = ="
lols..
tts the way she is~
as in not flirting with guys!
shes just VERY sociable.. o.o"
anws.. what can if do if she really is
its none of my buisness anymore?
who am i to care?!
we're only frens now?
i get really sick just looking at her face.. z..
smiling and laughing and stuff.. ~_~ haiz..
and she even had to go up on stage today..
had to read out the name summore.. x.x
and me2.. i cant believe still like her..
im just doing my best to keep away from her.. =l
only you guys can mend my broken heart.. (:
slowly.. but surely..
_______________________________________________________
eagles drawn.. =D
took me less than an hr.. ~_~
simpler than i thought.. lols.. z
inspired by this..
i thought drawing the fire instead of feathers wld be a cooler idea..
and im alot better at fire than feathers!
but i dunno whether its gona be too detailed to be put on the shirt..
cos any smaller, the feathers may clump.. o.o
the 'FaceTheTruth' is gona be with it too..
_______________________________________________________
CLASS T-SHIRT!
i got the design in my head le!
the front's gona be like our p.e shirt..
'3truth' as the logo and the strips for our names..
the back..
an eagle with a wings spread from end to end, carrying..
or at least.. behind a slogan..
'Face The Truth'
cancan?
just gota figure out the hard part..
drawing the eagle.. hmm.. x.x
ohoh!
and another dying question tt everybodies asking..
does studying affect ur relationships?
yup..
and tts just the reason why we broke up~
anws..
morale of the story is..
dont waste time by having relationships, 'love', hate & regret..
smile, treasure and be happy of what you have now.. (:
_______________________________________________________
you know what ive found so amusing yet so incredibly exciting today?
throwing large stones at larger dogpoop..
yup.. tt wad we did today after sch~ lols..
louis and me met jared,mark,kp and timo at a busstop after lunch..
followed them to get THEIR lunch..
they ate chickenrice at the beside the nearby wet market..
chatted talked, abt funerals gangsters and mad stuffs.. haha..
spat ice on each other.. .-. lols..
did lots of retarded stuffs.. ~_~
besides throwing stones at dogpoop, we almost threw louis in too..
chatted and talked,
dragged and carried, pushed and shoved..
shouted and screamed..
haha.. @_@
its been so long since i had myself back...
the retarded and not so serious side.. (:
guess its a good thing too? hehe
but it also means. tt i shldnt get carried away so easily and work on studies instead!
ive been failing recent tests lately.. ~_~"
and the dying question everybodies asking..
'does having relationships affect ur studies?'
i nv thought it was true.. lols..
sadly.. but it does..
when ur relationships good.. u're get more motivation to study! and tend to pay attention i lessons.. (:
when ur relationship's down.. so does ur motivation and grades..
anws.. im fine now..
but for the 5and a half out of 20 for chem..
im gona get a 15and a half the nxt time round.. =P
btws.. CLASSSSS T-SHIRT! zz
im planning to draw an eagle..
lk suggested the eagle, shld be drawn with its wings spreadout and the names inside..
hmm.. but it just might not fit.. o.o"
any more suggestions?
_______________________________________________________
this is my last song with you.. for you..
Linkinpark InTheEnd..
but we'll be frens forever.. right? (:
It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go =l
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter =l
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try,
keep that in mind I designed this rhyme,
to explain in due time I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me =(
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore =l
Not that you knew me back then But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know (x2)
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
_______________________________________________________
have you find your dad irritating sometimes?
or even embarressing? o.o
or maybe hes just there to help?.. =D
cos he has alot more experience than you!
you thnk he dosent understand.. but he does!
cos he went through tt growing up process too..
anws..
this was suppose to be another emotional passage.. ~_~"
wanted to post straight after i got home!
but..
thankfully (: the room was dark and locked..
father was slping in there..
was angry and upset at first..
but i cooled down after typing the msg i wanted to say on my phone..
didnt sent it though.. phew.. thankfully!
suddenly, dad woke up and barged into my room!
saw me msging with tt sorrowful face again..
he finally cldnt resist to to talk abt my problem..
he knew it all along~
even my fake smiles cldnt hide my emotions from my parents.. even my sis! ~_~
anws..
he said..
not to waste time sending 'iloveyou youloveme imissyou whereareyou' msges..
and shld concentrate on my studies instead!
everytime see
every hr msging is an hr lost to knowledge! o.o
my first thought was.. 'omg how did he know.. z'
he said.. he had lots of girls chasing him when he was my age haha..
'when i was 15 ar.. this sec one girl followed me to my house.. then ar.. when i was playing football[soccer] with my frens ar.. she wld stand and watch me.. then buy for me a drink when i finished or rested.. then my friends wld tease me..'
he also told me tt.. he wasnt mad abt it
cos he went had went through this stage.. the puppy love stage..
so what if you got a gf or bf now..
you cant get married!?
if you dont thnk marriage is impt then wad abt your life? o.o
you cant support your family.. or even your gf without money!
rightright?
my uncle earns 600-700 a month..
staying in a flat with his wife..
their furnitures were either picked up from the dump or contributed by my cousins..
my cousin i talked abt in the previous post..[ah meng zai]..
hes the perfect example!! lols.. x.x"
hes 30.. and he dosent even have his own flat to stay in..
he works as a military car mechanic after getting failing his ITE.. = =
his gf's mum was very reluctant to let her be with him.. o.o
so its best to start wrking hard on ur studies now.. (:
get ur studying foundation right!!
find ur partner when you're older..
so her or his parents wont be able to stop you..
wont confiscate his or her phone or stop her from using the internet.. ~_~
& so those aunties wont stare at you when you2 do wadever you want!
no you cant stop urself falling in love..
no you cant predict the future..
even though dad earns more than 7000 a month, he still regrets not studying hard enough.. and now he cant turn back! time is irreversible..
everything you see now.. is bought from? money!
the comfy house you are in, the bed beside you, even this computerscreen you're looking at!
he also said non of the girls tt chased him in sch nv had an ending..
otherwise they wld be my mother right now.. haha.. ~_~
my only advice to you is.. thnk smart and be smart!
ohoh!!!
it was raining today.. x.x
met irfan.. he didnt had an umbrella..
he asked me if i cld share..
i agreed delightfully! (:
it felt so good to help!
ive nv taken those kinds of stuff seriously..
i rmbed chinteck!!
he lost his file.. =l
i didnt even bother to help him look for it..
but when i lost mine..
so many ppl bothered to help! (: even chinteck! lols..
haiz..
louis..
to think i was jealous of him..
'walk with her lurh.. i support you all the way..'
made me teared.. =l after he said tt just now..
kinda moved and filled guilt..
he even lent me money for lunch just now.. 10$!
yeah i know frens cld be a lil irritating sometimes..
even kp.. = ="
but they realli are there for you when you need really them! =D
even though i ignored kp for those hard times he had been through.. ><"
he still hlped me.. just cant think of any right now.. =x
but i know he helped alot lurh.. lols.. the hugs and stuff..
joyce lijing alicia cherilyn gracia even timo!
helped me through this tough time.. ^^
ALOT!
but dad did the most of the effort..
just a half an hr talk was enough.. (:
with the right mind and man and the right words.. =)
ive been taking things for granted for far too long.. 14years.. x.x
you can find love in any part of your life..
but what abt your frens?
you cant go back to sch when you're.. older..
apprciate wad you have now!
i'll just take this as a punishment and a lesson learnt!
ive nv been taken for granted bfore..
and im tasting it now.. my own medicine!
anws.. so wad am i gona do now?
without her? (: im fine~
im gona enjoy everypart of my youth!
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to games day.. omg.. ^^
gona work hard too.. and get my drumset! =D
oh yar.. hav i told you i just broke with her? like.. 2hrs ago.. o.o"
i gave up.. i believe i made the right choice.. (:
i know i'll meet a better girl nxt time.. someone whos suitable for me..
whats meant to yours will be yours.. (:
someone whos gona be mine forever!
*currently not in the mood for another relationship..
i admit tt i still like her..
but ive made the decision i will NEVER regret..
btws..
*no offence to ppl who're having relationships at his age now.. (:
you made me decide on this decision..
but i thank you~ (:
_______________________________________________________
i promised.. and i kept it..
its for you..
_______________________________________________________
time and space they say..
too much, the rope loosens and it breaks free..
too little, you'll just keep pulling the rope further, tighter and harder.. and it'll snap faster..
just trying to make the rope flexible~
but theres only so much i can do..
only so much i can wait..
whats meant to be yours will be yours~
anws..
ive learnt what drowns my sorrows today!!! =)
EATING! does it!
and esp eating ice cream with my family.. (:
went aji tei at bugis today.. it was dad's treat! =D
hehe
after tt sumptious meal,
we satisfied our tastebuds with desert!
i ordered greentea icecream~ heavily coated with diff kinds nata/jelly!
a tiny cup of caramel to increase the sweetness lvl!
super duper yummie! =)
find yourself,
dont give up,
make a choice..
this vid cheered me up BIG TIME.. (:
_______________________________________________________
Elliot yamin.. Wait for you
[Verse 1]
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you &
I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away? ='(
[Bridge]
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be
[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
[Verse 2]
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is &
it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me :(
Don't leave me crying.
[Bridge]
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough
[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you ):
[Bridge]
So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me? )'=
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be
Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do
[Chorus]
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
I'll Be Waiting. ="l
_______________________________________________________
i dunno where to start..
rmb how we used to tell each other stupid jokes online?
buy kassim a weighingscale for his birthday?
buy chen lao shi a comb?
how we wld occasionally smile at our coms..
while we chatted with each other?
how we wld get jealous when we tell each other abt our online 'bfs and gfs'?
how we wld get so excited when we see each other online? (:
how we used to make and create retarded faces online? .-. 3=(
the first card you made for me? the birthday card? it was also the first one i received from any of my frens..
i still rmbed..
how i wld use to shut up and stare whenever u talk to me..
how my heart wld race each time you walked past..
always thnking tt i wld never popped tht question one day..
and how dissapointed i was when i thought abt us getting seperated into diff classes..
hahas..
even made you a farewell card..
do you still rmb
when i finally asked you?
the feelings you felt when you knew i liked you for a super long period of time?..
that rush and happiness that you will nv forget?
how we added each other on face book as each other's #1 bff as we thought we wld only be best friends?
do you rmbed
tt we still had to face reality?
that i was still going away to america for 2weeks?
that how sad we were..
how useless i felt on the phone as i still didnt dared to talk to you?
i rmbed
how i wld emo and cry over the phone..
how you wld get mad, but then console me.. (':
when i eventually had the guts to speak to you..
and it was when i first said 'i love you' to you?
i also rmbed flying in the plane to usa..
i wld on my mp3 and listen to our song.. 'how does it feel' and 'with me'
onli to be soaked with our memories even before we actually went out tgt..
do you rmb?
our very first outing tgt?
hahas..
we were so afraid to meet each other we called junhao to tag along?
when i recieved my first xmas present from you? a pair of drumsticks? with tht lion tts on my bag now?
when i said you were the best xmas present i alr have?
the second card you gave to redeem urself from the birthday card i made?
do you rmb 'OneMissCall'?
it was the movie when we broke the tension barrier..
when i glided my hand slowly towards yours?
tickling ur palm before eventually holding ur hand so tightly..
cldnt bear to let go even after the show?
how great we felt then? when every scary scene was the best cos we wld hold each other's hand even tighter?
i rmbed
the cute retarded gifts we wld always give each other..
i rmbed those mushymellow and mushyrooms we wld sent to each other.. (:
hahas..
we wld sent at least 800 msges a month..
do you still rmb
the first milktea i made for you?
how you wld use to compliment it.. and say it was the sweetest..
how no other milktea cld beat mine.. becos it had one ingredient tt other milkteas dosent have .. my love?
the first milo i made for you.. cos i cldnt find the packet which u loved the most?
rmb our monday yellows and friday-sunday blues?
rmb tt time when the train halt down to a stop? and the cabin i was in alighted right infront of you?
rmb how we first hugged?
rmb those happy times we had tgt?
rmb how we vowed nv to hurt each other again everytime we accidentally did?
rmb how we used to give in, admit and put ourselves into each other's shoes with every misunderstandings?
rmb how we teased eachother to be faithful?
rmb the wish tt we wld always wish upon?
'i hope this love dosent fade.. and grow stronger instead..'?
rmb the line we wld always send every night?
'i love you'?
do you rmb? or shld i say.. have you forgotten instead..
where are ur msges?
where are ur calls?
where are those hugs?
where are those happy times?
where is your love?
where are you?
the door to my heart's still wide open..
waiting for you to enter it again..
but its still creaking and shutting very slowly..
what abt yours?
u pushed me out..
but is ur door still open?
i love you..
still..
_______________________________________________________
this is gona be a really long but sad post..
its a test of my english to try to bring this post alive too!..
cos i dedicate this post..
to my popo.. (: [dad's side]
its not abt the passing away of her..
its wad partly caused her death..
which didnt let her rest in peace!
it was already 8..
shirtless and sweaty from the final training session before Nationals,
i was enjoying my dinner infont of the TV.. watching fe chang SuperBand in mum's room..
suddenly, sis popped out!
'eh brother.. you know grandma died alr or not?'
i brushed it away..
thnking it was the show sis refering to wad she was watching.. World's Most Amazing Vids..
then i tot.. 'we only use this 'grandma' term.. only for our popo..'
EH!?!
'?!!?!?!!? huh!? really?!' trying to shield my disbelief with a fake grin.. but of cos my wide opened mouth a big fat eyes gave it away~
hmm.. i then recalled.. abt 2days ago,
mum sacastically, said.. 'like mother like son ar.. grandma's pi-gu also got problem.. now in hospital..' [dad had piles too..]
but this time.. it was very serious..
continueing with the conv i had with sis,
she told me she got a phone call from mum tt grandma was in a very critical condition in the mrning..
she then passed away at abt 9.50..
after recieving another phone call from mum,
sis and me headed down by taxi to Singapore's Casket.. its a funeral place for christians..
As we entered the brightly litted air-conditioned room,
a yellow flowered framed familier picture on the table greeted us.. guarded by 2litted candles, each by a side..
a big red coffin lay behind the photo, designed with white crosses..
a huge dark blue cloth hung behind the coffin..
mum said my uncle[da bo] was christian..
but the rest wasnt.. no one else was christian in the family except him..
yellow chinese & english Christian words were printed on it..
da bo's son[my cousin] didnt wanna acknowledge him as his father..
cos popo always wanted the taoist tradition..
and he was a useless father.. =l
he cldnt control his abusive wife..
his wife wldnt let popo watch TV, on the lights, buy her food..
da bo threatened to divorce her..
but it was just another empty threat..
his wife wld steal and take money from their own kids, even from him!
anws..
As it was an opened face coffin,
mum brought us to see her! oo~
she looked so pretty with all the make up on but a lil fat from the preservatives injected.. =x
we then gathered and sat at a table, with one of dad's good frens..
we chatted, laughed.. and talked abt lots of interesting stuff!!
= =" btws..
mum, sis, one of dad's good fren know abt her [you know who~] alr..
z.. cos ah meng zai, my cousin, saw us at vivo! lols.. x.x"!
and he told me tt the distance was from him to his sis..
which was less than a metre away.. = =
he even said tt i was so engrossed with our conv i didnt even notice him! ><" ..
and the last time we went to vivo was the last day of march holidays..
z.. he eventually twisted the stabbed the knife in me after he accused of seeing us a couple of times alr!..
luckily mum was fine with it.. =x
she said.. everyone will have frens.. its either girlfren or boyfren..
dont really get wad she means..
but if onli mel's mum cld thnk like the way my mum thnks..
anws~ getting out of point here~ ~_~ where was i..
oh ya.. it was approaching midnight..
around 11 alr.. some visitors left..
while more arrived!
more of dad's frens! dad accompanied his frens..
while we, mum sis and me.. continued chatting with dad's good fren and his wife.. even as we were joking and stuff, i still cld feel the tension in the air..
gugu[dad's elder sister], gu zhang[dad's elder sis's husband], da bo[dad's big bro], da bo mu[dad's big bro's wife]..
my cousins were all dead tired, silent and emotional.. from the corners of my eye i cld peeped and glanced..
ah meng zai was tired, msging his gf[must be] while lazily laying his head on the table..
da bo.. was busily wiping his watery eyes..
da bo mu.. was like an outsider, sitting at another corner where all the others sat, her face filled with guilt and fear..
she wld glare at all of us serveral times..
it was 1200am.. one of dad's good fren left.. [ the one tt pei us to talk one..]
then.. 12.05am..
suddenly, 'WO DE TOU HEN TONG AH@! HUI JIA LA!!'
da bo's[dad's big brother] wife screamed at da bo..and tugging his sleeve roughly at the same time.. in a strong cantonese accent..
ive nv seen her like tt before.. onli heard tt she was evil..
her face changed..
totally.. she kinda evolved or something..
so.. all the while.. it was an act..
she wld be so nice to us, smiling and stuff during chinese newyear..
or whenever we met..
didnt came to sch tt day..
cos i was taking part in The biggest competition in the history of shooting!!
The Nationals!! got 3rd place in the ZONE though.. (:
got 5th place in nationals..
competiting with over 20 schools..
[btws this post is writen and re writen over 3days.. cos didnt had time to finish it entirely..]
hmm..
sometimes i ask myself..
wad have i done to you..
do you love me like how u used to? now?
you didnt appreciate the things i made and gave you..
you said it felt so wrong.. !?!?!?!?!? then wads right? then wads right?..
wads so wrong into giving you stuffs tt wld make you fall for me again?
you said it was suppose to be the other way round..
but did you even try? when was the last time you gave me a present?..
i bet you dont even remember..
wads the point of making those stuff..
when you dont even appreciate them..
you urself admitted into taking me for granted, and not feeling the way for me like the way you used to, u're ashamed of urself for feeling tt way..
but are u even putting the effort to change?
i simply dont see it..
i love you from the day i met you..
but do you?
you said you wldnt leave me..
just hope tt wasnt a lie..
or another promise you'ld nv fail to break..
how much time do you need?..
how much presents do i need to give?..
how much love you need to be drowned in..
im giving everything i got..
but you twisted the knife tt was stabbed in my tummy again..
i love you still and
ive nv changed..
_______________________________________________________